Two Teens Who Assaulted Former DOGE Employee Edward “Big Balls” Coristine Avoid Jail Time

Two teenagers who admitted to taking part in a brutal assault against former DOGE employee Edward “Big Balls” Coristine in Washington, D.C., will not serve time in jail after a juvenile court ruling this week, as reported by the Gateway Pundit.

According to WUSA9, the two 15-year-olds — a boy and a girl — pleaded guilty Tuesday in connection with the August attack on Coristine, who was beaten after intervening to protect his girlfriend during an attempted carjacking.

The court sentenced the boy to 12 months of probation, while the girl received nine months of probation after pleading guilty to simple assault. The local outlet did not identify the defendants because of their ages.

The presiding juvenile court judge stated that the purpose of the juvenile justice system is rehabilitation, not punishment, and expressed hope that the teens would learn from the incident.


Coristine addressed the court via video link, telling the defendants, “I hope you can figure things out and be ready for the consequences.” He also thanked the police and court officials for their efforts throughout the case.

Police reports from the August 2024 incident detailed that Coristine was attacked by a group of about ten teens while defending his girlfriend during what authorities described as a violent street encounter.


The assault occurred in downtown D.C. as Coristine attempted to help his girlfriend reach safety inside her car.

In an interview with Fox News host Jesse Watters in September, Coristine recounted the attack.


“I was just hanging out with a group of my friends late at night and at about 3 a.m. we were wrapping up, and I was walking one of my friends back to her car and as we’re walking to the car there’s a group of 10 guys right across the street,” he said.

“And as we get to the car and she begins to fumble for the keys, they start shouting at us, and really quickly, I knew something was really off about the situation.”

“So she unlocks the car, I rush her into the driver’s seat, she’s able to close the door behind her and lock the doors, and right as I turn around, they run up on me. They’re just a few feet away. And they slam me against the car. They start throwing a bunch of punches. I keep my hands up. Just like, alright, I’m getting a lot of punches here,” Coristine continued.

“I’m just trying to protect my head the best way that I can. And luckily, the whole thing didn’t last too long. The police showed up pretty quickly,” he added. “So I was very fortunate. I only came out with a broken nose and a concussion. It could have been a lot worse.”

Following the attack, President Donald Trump shared an image of Coristine’s injuries on social media, calling attention to rising youth violence in Washington, D.C. The President later ordered federal assistance to support local law enforcement in reducing street crime.

Authorities say several suspects involved in the attack remain at large. The case continues to highlight ongoing concerns about violent juvenile crime in the nation’s capital and the limited sentences often imposed under the city’s juvenile justice system.



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